i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
