the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
