Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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