My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
