I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
