hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
