HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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