I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
