Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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