Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
