you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
