I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
