Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
