well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
