omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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