I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Semen is not good for contacts.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize