okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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