Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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