hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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