I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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