in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
