yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
third nipple confirmed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
