so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
