Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
zippers are such a cool invention
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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