dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
