you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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