well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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