The beer is more important than you right now.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You are the jesus of drinking
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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