I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it glows. i had to have it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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