I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
