Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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