If i come over, it means nothing
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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