I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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