O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
