You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
