I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
