Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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