Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I need moral support for this bender
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
