Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
