That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
