Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
