I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
