Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
