Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
