Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
