If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
