There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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