i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize