Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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