remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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