New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
