so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
