How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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