Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
