toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
lol hangovers are for mortals.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
