addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
