grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
