Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
