Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
