it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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