haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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